Your Next Place

This beautiful corner home has been extensively remodeled after being vacant for decades.  I live just two blocks away and I can attest that for the past five or six years, it was the scariest, filthiest, most haunted-looking house in the neighborhood; I wouldn't even let my dog crap in the trash-strewn yard for fear it would step on a syringe and contract hepatitis B.  Now that this place has been turned into a crown jewel of the neighborhood, the crappiest scariest-looking crown has been passed down to ... crap, it's now my house!  (True story:  the sinkhole that's formed on my stoop as a result of a botched water main repair is so wide and deep that the mailman just tosses our mail onto the stairs from the sidewalk, lest he plummet to his death.)

A duplex condo, this unit has huge, oversized windows wherever you turn, flooding the living spaces with natural light.  Maybe too much natural light - I went to this open house with my girlfriend, and when we were in the light-flooded living room I caught her looking at me up and down, as if seeing me for the first time, and muttering, "wait a second, does my boyfriend look like a Depression-era Mexican standup comedian?!"  (Answer: yes.)  There are gleaming hardwood floors and recessed lighting throughout, and the kitchen sports granite countertops and beautiful custom cabinetry.

Upstairs is a similarly light-filled master bedroom (check out those closets!) and a fantastic master bath featuring side by side twin basins for those late night handwashin' competitions (what, you thought no one knew about that?), and a huge glass cube shower that's equal parts Vegas and Star Trek.  And on the roof is a fantastic 800-square-foot roof deck from which you can juuuuuust see the Washington Monument, which you will never ever look at, but which you can casually mention to people at cocktail parties as a subtle way to convey that despite all appearances to the contrary, you're actually quite annoying.

1600 8th St. NW #1
3 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths
$895,000