Your Next Place

This 1920 modified Dutch Colonial sports a superlative front porch that's bigger than each of my first three apartments.  A big front porch is a must if you have adolescent children; it provides a place for them to go to get away from you, but keeps them close enough that you can still peek out the window during commercial breaks to make sure they aren't doing hard drugs or groping on the porch swing.  (I should know, I was caught attempting both on the porch during my teen years.)

Though it's over a century old, this house is extremely roomy, with sprawling, open rooms and an open-ish floor plan.  It's actually sort of eerie how accurately the original builders' aesthetic anticipated our contemporary tastes, sort of like if you found an old black and white photo of your grandparents and they had tattoo sleeves and lip piercings.  (Pause to imagine what your grandchildren are going to think when they look at your Facebook.)  With over 4200 square feet of space over four levels, you are guaranteed to never feel small and insignificant while between these four walls, except when your mother yet again casually mentions in an email how similar your childhood circumstances were to Barack Obama's.  The formal living room and dining room are huge and bright, and the massive kitchen was made for hosting dinner parties.  There are beautiful and authentic aged hardwood floors throughout; new hardwood is nice, but you really can't beat well-maintained old hardwood.

There's a beautifully rough-around-the-edges attic, with exposed rafters and unfinished wood floors, that would make a picture-perfect artist's garret, if you're into Les Miz reenactments. Way down below is a huge semi-finished concrete-floored basement that's perfect for storage, or using as a dungeon, if you're a pervert.  (I mean that in a good way, I don't trust anyone who's not a little perverted.)  Out back is a two-car garage, for your two cars, or your one sloppily diagonally parked car because why not, in a hundred years we'll all be dead.

3717 Ingomar Street NW
5 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths
$999,999