Senin, 17 Desember 2012

Your Next Place

This corner duplex in the exclusive steel-and-glass tower of 22 West is one of the finest units in a building full of very fine units.  You enter into a long, swanky foyer; I like a foyer, as it gives you a little half-beat to transition from "out there" to "in here."  Like if you go to a party at a place with a foyer you can do that thing where you pretend to be taking off your coat or whatever but you're actually just dawdling and asking the host in hushed tones, "is my ex here yet?  How do they look?  Bad?  How bad?  Like 'they should get their apartment tested for radon gas' bad?  God, that makes me happy."

Farther in, you enter the stunning lofted two-story-tall living room that opens onto a private garden (!).  Though the pied a terre is somewhat common in high-end New York places, you rarely see this sort of thing in DC.  (In that way it's similar to European models, and non-Dad jeans.)  The gourmet kitchen counters are nonstop Carrera marble, thus insuring you'll end up standing helplessly puzzled in the middle of the kitchen several times a week, because putting dirty dishes on Carrera marble is just insane.  There's even a guest bedroom on the main level that also opens onto the private garden, so when your friends visit you can really subtly rub their faces in your success.

Upstairs, the lofted second level features a truly luxurious master bedroom suite, with its own small living room area and a huge, Vegas-style bathroom.  If this was your bedroom, you could absolutely never have to go downstairs except to get more ice once in a while and sarcastically ask your teenage children, as they play Xbox and sext their peers, "haven't you moved out yet?"  There's a separate gated entrance, so you can avoid the requisite stop-and-chats with the other tenants (can't put a price on that), and a rooftop pool for the building's use where you can go and ogle your neighbors' stretch marks and wonder how THAT sleazy-looking guy can afford to live in the building.  (He can't; it's me, and I've snuck in just to use the pool.  Go ahead and rat me out, but if you ever want to sell your place and have an open house, I'll write that I came and saw a four-inch-long silverfish in the kitchen.)

1177 22nd Street Northwest #1-A
2 Bedrooms, 2 Baths

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